u were gone for a whole week so im not surprised ur not feeling ok ummm i cant make u anything better than ud make for urself but i can handfeed u (‘∀’●)♡
well i'm not stupid if someone can't acknowledge when they hurt you then that speaks volumes in of itself they're immature and had never cared to begin with at least that's my opinion
And yet I still look better than you? Anyway, I witnessed two people die. [ He says; tone flat. Hajun moves inside the room and sits on the piano chair. ] I'm not entirely ecstatic, no, just glad to be alive.
I don't want to have to get used to it, is the thing.
[ Even if he wants to see the ugly aftermath of his family's company falling apart, he doesn't want to be there to see them. His mother who would praise him with kind words and warm food; his father who would look to him with earnest joy; the baby that they birthed into this world to replace him.
All Hajun wants to know is that they're living miserably -- and, honestly, it's completely different from an actual corpse!? ]
A man's brain got all over my shoes, just like your blood got all over my jacket. I'm losing more and more money the longer I stay here.
Mm. [ Humming quietly, he places a hand on the piano, fingers brushing against dust. ] If either of us disappeared, I wouldn't want the last thing to remember us by is your blood, though.
... [ He blinks, appearing surprised: ] Aren't you going to ask how you want to be remembered? You're selfish, what do you care if I disappeared suddenly?
I mentioned this already, but that won't be you -- and that's certainly a general and shallow desire. Do you think of yourself as that one dimensional?
[ There's the bitterness on his tongue that's she's probably familiar with. ]
And apologies for being weak, I wasn't exactly born to be anything else than whatever it is my parents wanted. And then the second they didn't need me they abandoned me like a dog.
Sorry, but I'd much rather have been unwanted and still living among a member of my family then sent to an entirely different country just because they've decided I'm useless to them. [ He feels anxious, talking about all of this, but at the same time he doesn't... probably because they're similar in a way. ] I don't need their approval, because I intend on destroying everything they have, but they have hurt me enough.
08/15 — I LEARNED ALL OUR MISSIONS AINT AT THE END OF THE MONTH :)
( he doesn't recall seeing hajun at the meeting, and he was probably one of the lucky few who managed to escape stephanie's mayhem. so he wasn't able to seek out his help there, luckily he did have akira, but he seems like he struggles with relationships, so who else can komaeda confide in to understand the most basic of people?
it doesn't take long for komaeda to find him, he's pretty luck in that regard as he lifts his hand to wave towards the others — )
Yeon-kun! I've been looking for you everywhere...
( honest, directly to the point despite him breathing a little hard... but after, he continues: ) A-Are you good with women?
[ He's really just trying to mind his own business. Staring outside, looking at the track field -- he's curious but also trying to think normally, for once. A hand against the window frame, his index finger curled inward and digging at the wood idly.
He catches a familiar voice, picking up his head to look at Komaeda rushing towards him before he arches a brow in confusion. ]
... [ His lips move to say his name in return, and instead he gets a question like that. Right off the bat. What's going on? ]
I've had girlfriends. [ Does that answer his question, though... ] If you asked Kawai-san and Chidouin-san they'd agree I'm a gentleman.
Oh? Does Kawaii-san like you again, last time she seemed... irritable.
( on the network, but that's long gone, so maybe they did make up — rika is one to start arguments, but in the end her wholesome, and accepting heart allows people to worm their way back in. he's sure that's not how that happened, but he's not going to think so hard. )
It's not about her, almost like you read my mind, but Chidouin-san. ( talking about girls isn't unfamiliar to him, and he proceeds by thinking about what he should say first without coming off rude. there's a lot he could say, but she deserves respect... )
For a female that's lackluster in every way, she actually surprised me. What does it mean?
She sat on my lap not too long ago. [ So... that their relationship. Confusing, yes, and he doesn't want to go into any more detail than the vagueness he's already expressed. ]
Hm, lackluster... [ Hajun smiles slightly, exhaling a small chuckle. ] If she's managed to gain your interest then I can only assume it's because she's a hidden psychopath.
( confusing as hell, but you know what, rika is ... insane, and a lot goes through her head. she does one thing, does another thing, and part of him wants to ask was it because of the blood loss. )
She has something hidden alright, that nature of hers... is fake.
( the way she acts, what she said at the meeting, it's pretty obvious she's trying to hold everything in — when will she break? that façade she plays for everyone keeps her in their graces, and he raises a hand to his chin while trying to understand it. )
I wouldn't be surprised if she lied calling you a gentleman! Did she pull a gun out on you when she said it?
It's rude to assume that she's fake, Komaeda-san. Without properly knowing here we can't determine whether or not it's all a ruse or if she's simply multi-faced person. At least she appears that way, in my perspective.
[ The moment she started talking about Hajun being her dog he realized something was off -- but not entirely unsurprising. He came to her with strong convictions when they had first met, and it doesn't come to a surprise to him at all that she may just be a sadist...
But whether or not that extends into her being a possible threat to rest of them hasn't been determined. ]
She did not, but I'm certain that the only way she actually would call me a gentleman is if someone pulled one out on her.
Isn't it a shame to lie to those around us, but perhaps... that's what makes her comfortable.
( but mr hajun!!! her fakeness is off the charts, but it's hard to be yourself when everyone else here will condemn a person for certain actions. even komaeda walks a fine line when it comes to that, some people like him, and others hate him. if she wants to stay part of the group, acting that way does benefit her. )
Sounds about right, I will say... I thought she was filled with empty threats, but after that I realized... her eyes speak more than what she lets on. That's not so bad, I am curious... I can't get her off my mind, so I wondered if she'd do the same to you.
It makes many people comfortable, if you're not aware.
[ This is coming from the King of Fakeness so he knows. ]
... [ And here he is again, stuck in a situation in where he has to consider if Komaeda is just unaware of romantic feelings. Has he never kissed? Held someone dearly? Fucked? Come on, dude... you can't get any hoes like this. ] That almost sounds like a crush, Komaeda-san. My thoughts are occupied with other people, admittedly, though I can't say that she hasn't visited me in passing when I've made a mental list of people likely to go against an entire group for their own well-being.
[ He taps a nail against the windowsill, glancing over the courtyard. ]
This may just be from personal experience... but she comes across as a survivor, of some sort. Comfortable enough that death and blood doesn't phase her, aware of those skeptic of her and formulating the perfect words that you want to hear.
A crush? Hm... She's not my type, that's why I'm curious... her actions, her motives... her hope interests me.
( a crush? on sara? he'll even think on the idea of it, having a crush on someone that wasn't his beloved ultimates... he could never. they're the only group that deserves his love, so he shakes his head like it's a joke that's been proposed to him. if she was the ideal, he's sure things would be differently between them, maybe she wouldn't be walking as they speak... well, he's not that insane.
that's why he's able to glance to the window to see what's outside, staring at the courtyard along with him.. )
That makes her smart, doesn't it? To live in a world like this, but I like that... a survivor, someone who can live and give others that same motivation... not bad for this group. ( though, there's something on his mind too. ) Do you want to talk out there?
I wouldn't say that she's the type to do all of that.
[ That may just be his pessimism talking, but listen -- ]
I'm saying that she's the type to manipulate the playing field. Give off the impression that she's a kind hearted person, those who have done wrong or think they have would be more willing to put themselves in harms way than someone they admire, right?
[ A wave of his hand. ]
No, I'm just admiring the view. A part of me misses the rain.
If idiots are manipulated by her, then that's their own fault. I don't see a reason to persecute her for these actions, I find it pretty enjoyable among the group. But you aren't a kind person either... none of us are, really.
( you know, her hope is showing when she acts that way, how far she's willing to go, and sara's pretty interesting as a concept for them anyway. everyone's a little different, but komaeda can give credit where it's due. )
Last time we had rain, Sakasaki-kun murdered... it was pretty ideal for him. ( he peers outside, looking up towards the sky, and it looks like a perfect day, but the sound of rain pitter pattering against the window would be nice. ) It would be nice.
( maybe if they kill sara, they can make it happen... )
If I had it my way, it wouldn't have happened like that. It feels so hopeless... from a point of view, he was afraid, and yet she couldn't even fight back.
( sometimes komaeda likes an equal playing ground, and sometimes he wants to see the underdog come out on top. )
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
backdated to whenever he gets back from his mission iDK
hey
u ok
( yes this is a new post on a public forum but listen. she doesn't know where he is!!!! )
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dying
but i threw up so at least i can't do that
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??
wym dying
did u eat something bad
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so no
honestly when i threw up was awhile back too but
i'm unsure of what to do exactly
i just don't feel well
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so im not surprised ur not feeling ok
ummm
i cant make u anything better than ud make for urself but
i can handfeed u (‘∀’●)♡
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why are you so concerned about my well-being anyway
i'm sure that my disappearance did nothing to rain on your parade
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look
i know we cant talk abt what happened here but
if u need to talk i can come meet u
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are you just curious of what happened?
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why do you care about me
i've done nothing but make fun of you, treat you like shit, etc.
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tbh ive done pretty much the same to u but
uh
last month at the fundraiser u rly helped me
it sounds stupid but u did
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if someone can't acknowledge when they hurt you then that speaks volumes in of itself
they're immature and had never cared to begin with
at least that's my opinion
[ So he's saying he does care... woaw. ]
where are you
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music room!!
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looks like we're free
give me five minutes
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if someone told me that here id kick them out
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but i'll hold my complaints
[ Anyway he's here! In the music room now. Here's your lil rawr rawr. ]
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You look like shit. ( is all she says, sitting on the piano. )
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( looking better than her, not the deaths. she looks at him, a little pensive, leaning towards him when he sits down. )
You'd think we'd be used to the sight by now, huh? But it's still so rough.
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[ Even if he wants to see the ugly aftermath of his family's company falling apart, he doesn't want to be there to see them. His mother who would praise him with kind words and warm food; his father who would look to him with earnest joy; the baby that they birthed into this world to replace him.
All Hajun wants to know is that they're living miserably -- and, honestly, it's completely different from an actual corpse!? ]
A man's brain got all over my shoes, just like your blood got all over my jacket. I'm losing more and more money the longer I stay here.
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( she wants to agree, because it's not something that you should get used to, unless you're some sort of a psychopath, but then — )
... hah?! Is this just about money?! Aren't you rich?!
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( he looks so SAD... it bothers her, because he never looks sad, only annoying?? smug??? ugh... bring bully hajun back. )
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( smile )
Besides, I know how I wanna be remembered. The cutest girl in all of the school!!
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[ There's the bitterness on his tongue that's she's probably familiar with. ]
And apologies for being weak, I wasn't exactly born to be anything else than whatever it is my parents wanted. And then the second they didn't need me they abandoned me like a dog.
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( she scoffs, glancing away. )
My mother never wanted me. Doesn't mean I let that dictate my whole life. You can get strong on your own; you don't need their approval for that.
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Sorry, but I'd much rather have been unwanted and still living among a member of my family then sent to an entirely different country just because they've decided I'm useless to them. [ He feels anxious, talking about all of this, but at the same time he doesn't... probably because they're similar in a way. ] I don't need their approval, because I intend on destroying everything they have, but they have hurt me enough.
08/15 — I LEARNED ALL OUR MISSIONS AINT AT THE END OF THE MONTH :)
it doesn't take long for komaeda to find him, he's pretty luck in that regard as he lifts his hand to wave towards the others — )
Yeon-kun! I've been looking for you everywhere...
( honest, directly to the point despite him breathing a little hard... but after, he continues: ) A-Are you good with women?
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He catches a familiar voice, picking up his head to look at Komaeda rushing towards him before he arches a brow in confusion. ]
... [ His lips move to say his name in return, and instead he gets a question like that. Right off the bat. What's going on? ]
I've had girlfriends. [ Does that answer his question, though... ] If you asked Kawai-san and Chidouin-san they'd agree I'm a gentleman.
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( on the network, but that's long gone, so maybe they did make up — rika is one to start arguments, but in the end her wholesome, and accepting heart allows people to worm their way back in. he's sure that's not how that happened, but he's not going to think so hard. )
It's not about her, almost like you read my mind, but Chidouin-san. ( talking about girls isn't unfamiliar to him, and he proceeds by thinking about what he should say first without coming off rude. there's a lot he could say, but she deserves respect... )
For a female that's lackluster in every way, she actually surprised me. What does it mean?
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Hm, lackluster... [ Hajun smiles slightly, exhaling a small chuckle. ] If she's managed to gain your interest then I can only assume it's because she's a hidden psychopath.
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She has something hidden alright, that nature of hers... is fake.
( the way she acts, what she said at the meeting, it's pretty obvious she's trying to hold everything in — when will she break? that façade she plays for everyone keeps her in their graces, and he raises a hand to his chin while trying to understand it. )
I wouldn't be surprised if she lied calling you a gentleman! Did she pull a gun out on you when she said it?
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[ The moment she started talking about Hajun being her dog he realized something was off -- but not entirely unsurprising. He came to her with strong convictions when they had first met, and it doesn't come to a surprise to him at all that she may just be a sadist...
But whether or not that extends into her being a possible threat to rest of them hasn't been determined. ]
She did not, but I'm certain that the only way she actually would call me a gentleman is if someone pulled one out on her.
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( but mr hajun!!! her fakeness is off the charts, but it's hard to be yourself when everyone else here will condemn a person for certain actions. even komaeda walks a fine line when it comes to that, some people like him, and others hate him. if she wants to stay part of the group, acting that way does benefit her. )
Sounds about right, I will say... I thought she was filled with empty threats, but after that I realized... her eyes speak more than what she lets on. That's not so bad, I am curious... I can't get her off my mind, so I wondered if she'd do the same to you.
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[ This is coming from the King of Fakeness so he knows. ]
... [ And here he is again, stuck in a situation in where he has to consider if Komaeda is just unaware of romantic feelings. Has he never kissed? Held someone dearly? Fucked? Come on, dude... you can't get any hoes like this. ] That almost sounds like a crush, Komaeda-san. My thoughts are occupied with other people, admittedly, though I can't say that she hasn't visited me in passing when I've made a mental list of people likely to go against an entire group for their own well-being.
[ He taps a nail against the windowsill, glancing over the courtyard. ]
This may just be from personal experience... but she comes across as a survivor, of some sort. Comfortable enough that death and blood doesn't phase her, aware of those skeptic of her and formulating the perfect words that you want to hear.
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( a crush? on sara? he'll even think on the idea of it, having a crush on someone that wasn't his beloved ultimates... he could never. they're the only group that deserves his love, so he shakes his head like it's a joke that's been proposed to him. if she was the ideal, he's sure things would be differently between them, maybe she wouldn't be walking as they speak... well, he's not that insane.
that's why he's able to glance to the window to see what's outside, staring at the courtyard along with him.. )
That makes her smart, doesn't it? To live in a world like this, but I like that... a survivor, someone who can live and give others that same motivation... not bad for this group. ( though, there's something on his mind too. ) Do you want to talk out there?
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[ That may just be his pessimism talking, but listen -- ]
I'm saying that she's the type to manipulate the playing field. Give off the impression that she's a kind hearted person, those who have done wrong or think they have would be more willing to put themselves in harms way than someone they admire, right?
[ A wave of his hand. ]
No, I'm just admiring the view. A part of me misses the rain.
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( you know, her hope is showing when she acts that way, how far she's willing to go, and sara's pretty interesting as a concept for them anyway. everyone's a little different, but komaeda can give credit where it's due. )
Last time we had rain, Sakasaki-kun murdered... it was pretty ideal for him. ( he peers outside, looking up towards the sky, and it looks like a perfect day, but the sound of rain pitter pattering against the window would be nice. ) It would be nice.
( maybe if they kill sara, they can make it happen... )
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Do you think of people who will trip someone beside them just to get away from a killer entertaining to watch? Or just smart?
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( sighs, not this talk. it's complicated. )
If I had it my way, it wouldn't have happened like that. It feels so hopeless... from a point of view, he was afraid, and yet she couldn't even fight back.
( sometimes komaeda likes an equal playing ground, and sometimes he wants to see the underdog come out on top. )
This is about the rain, right?
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It sounds like you're placing everyone into an experiment. Like lab rats.
[ He says that with no offense evident on his tongue, but his eyes narrow with the thought that he might be seen in that perspective. ]
No. I'm still talking about our charming Sara-san.